Finally Back Online

Whew what a few weeks we have had.  The kids have been not well, I have not been well, the weather has been very suckish...need I say anymore?  Between work, school, kids and housework I am rundown, tired, depressed and just plain out of it.  BUT things can only get better from here, they always can only get better right?  Someone please tell me I'm right!  Well on a good note my kids have not seriously maimed each other (a big plus in my book), my bills are caught up and we didn't lose power during the ice storm.  I thank God mostly for that because if we had we would have been forced to stay with my mother...she is the only one with a working fireplace.  Of course she isn't as bad as I make her out to be, its just when we are together there is always a financial discussion which sadly turns into a shouting match about how I spend and don't save and I know deep down she is right but I am who I am.  Sooner or later I will figure it all out and it will probably be later than sooner I'm sad to say. 

Does Anyone Have an Intelligence Pill?

Maybe its just me but are people inherently stupid?  Ok maybe that is the wrong word...let's say..ummm...just not smart, hickish, ridiculous.  Maybe that is wrong too but let me just say that the "Ass" is truly an "ass".  He is about $3000 behind in child support BECAUSE he says he has overpaid in the last 5 years byt $11,000....I don't even know what he is talking about.  Well I do because when our divorce was finally final he was $6000 behind in child support and the courts ordered him to pay $50 a week on top of support toward the arrearage.  The question to be asked is WHO was supposed to track that?  I would have thought the child support office would be responsible for tracking that or were we (meaning the ex) supposed to keep track of it?  It never said in the paperwork that it would automatically quit deducting the $50 for arrearages after it was paid.  All I know is he is complaining a lot about having paid this much extra (which let me be clear was for his children).  At one point, because he was driving me nuts, I called the child support office and asked what I needed to do to have the case reviewed.....have to get a lawyer....NOT GONNA HAPPEN.  I paid $6,000 to divorce him (lousy attorney) and I wasn't about to pay another attorney because he wanted the case reviewed.  I told him if he wanted it reviewed he needed to get an attorney, which I guess after a year and a half he finally has.  I have no issue with him not paying the $50 extra a month (which let me be clear is for his children) but he is wanting me to pay it back to him....I think he outta his vulcan mind.  All he pays is child support and once or twice has put lunch money in the kid's school accounts.  I take care of everything else.  I carry medical on them, I take them to the doctor, I feed them everyday, make sure they have bathroom items, wash their clothes, help them with homework, take care of them when they are sick, attend school functions, take them to sports and play practices, attend ALL games and skating parties, play games with them, buy them clothes, shoes, coats and toys, pay all their doctor bills, buy all their medications, tuck them in bed every night, get up with them in the middle of the night when they get scared and do anything else they need.  He breezes through once every couple of months and takes them to Bennihanna's for dinner or takes them to BW3 to watch a game, he has taken them on vacation twice and he takes them every Thanksgiving to visit his family.....so do a few dinners and two vacations equal out to me repaying him $11,000.....I think not.

Prozac Anyone?

It has been 12 days....2 weeks since my last post.  No I'm not dead BUT I am exhausted, worn out and am in desperate need of an anti-depressant.  My children fight with each other constantly and I try not to take sides but no matter what I say or who gets in trouble its always "you love him more than me", "you always believe her and never me", "you always think its my fault and she never does anything wrong".  Arggggg, no wonder I've got so much gray hair.  Does it, will it, can it get any better?  Will they ever like each other or are they going to kill or mame each other before they find out?  I have finally gotten my son back into therapy and when I started him my daughter decided she wanted to go as well.  Truthfully I don't see anything wrong with her going.  I'm sure she needs someone to talk to, other than me, that can truly help her with problems I can't; like with the "Ass" and he was the main reason she wanted to see a counselor.  She has issues with her dad and who wouldn't.  He's never around, he never puts them first and he hates spending any kind of money on them.  When he comes to visit, his idea of spending time with them is taking them to BW3's and getting wings while watching a ball game.  Now I'm not sayin this isn't fun because it is for my son, he is just like his dad, definitely a sports guy.  My daughter, however, is not and he never does things with them that she might enjoy as well...and he wonder's why they say they don't want to go with him when he wants to take them for a week or so.  I let him know not too long ago that he was over 10 payments behind in child support and his answer was....well he gave me no answer, no response, no nothing.  My kids are in 3rd and 4th grade and since kindergarten I can count the times on one hand that I have asked him to help with lunches and tuition for them.  He offered to pay for kindergarten for one of them and then I would have to remind him to make the payment, and he would get mad so I would just pay it and go on.  They went out of their way to get him and his girlfriend christmas gifts and they got them nothing, NOTHING.  I asked him about chipping in for santa stuff but his response was "I'm not letting Santa take credit for giving my kids stuff at Christmas"....what an idiot.

Ay yi yi....I'm losing my mind here !  :)

Trials and Tribulations.........

Let's ponder for a moment the meaning of friendship.....to a 10 year old........little girl.   Let's ponder another moment why children, especially girls, are so mean and cruel and jealous and hateful.   We try to teach our kids not to be this way but is it just inherent?  Human nature?  Ingrained in us?  I'm not certain I believe that.  I have seen my kids go out of their way to play with a child with a disability, or with a child who no one else would play with.....don't get me wrong I am not saying that they are perfect little darlings, oh seriously far from it, but I don't think they are cruel.  When I do see behavior that I don't like or is hurtful I try to address it immediately and deal with it putting them in that person's shoes to see how they would feel in that certain situation.  Ok so why do I bring this up well my daughter is really having some issues with her "friends" and I am just torn about what to do for her.  My instincts tell me to lay into her "friends" and give them a good "what for" and how lucky they are to be friends with her because she is so much better than they are BUT then there is another nagging voice (which sounds alot like my daughter's) telling me she will figure it out for herself and that I need to just be there for her.  Its difficult though because we want to keep them from making mistakes but I guess in all honestly this is not the best thing to do because without mistakes they really will never learn.

On to the story......Skating Party tonight and she wants to go.  Her friend Lindy wants to go but doesn't have a ride.  "Mom can we give her a ride please?"  Of course we can...."Mom, Lindy's mom said she could go but she isn't giving her any money to go, can we pay for her to get in?"  I feel sorry for the kid and her mom appears to be a real winner so I say yes.  We pick her up and head to the skating rink and then the fun begins.  I pay for them to get in and rent their skates and her friend immediately says "I need a different ticket for speed skates".....Allie and I look at each other.  She says again "I need speed skates I ALWAYS get speed skates and they cost more".  I can see Allie is embarassed so we just walk in.  They go get their skates and are putting them on and her Lindy's is complaining the whole time about how she needs these other skates.  I finally asked her what speed skates were and she said they were like "that girls" and points and says "you go faster".  When I saw the skates the only difference to the one's that she had were that the "speed skates" looked like tennis shoes.  I told her just to put her skates on.  They started playing a game at the rink called Wipe-Out and Allie wanted to skate but Lindy wouldn't skate with her because she said she hated the game.  About that time Brenda, a girl in their class who is friend's with Lindy but has a problem with Allie, came over and Lindy immediately started ignoring Allie who was obviously crushed.  She went to stand between them and tried to get Lindy to come skate with her but she blew her off.  Allie came over by me and I told her to go skate, play the game and I would watch her.  It went on like this for the rest of the night with Allie begging me not to say anything to her friends.  I respect that because I do think she will figure it out for herself eventually and I will always just be here for her to pick her up or offer a shoulder to cry on.

Not as Easy as I Thought.......

Just like the title says.....keeping up with this is not as easy as I thought.  What was I thinking, um hello its called "single parent" for a reason....I'm single, I have loads to do and no time to do it.  Oh but a blog will be easy, its something you WANT to do and at the end of the year you can look back and read about how great 2011 was....suuuuuurrrreee.  I have no time to scoop the cat box (which is not even my job at home but I do it).  

Lets see I haven't written since 1/6 and since then all has been well with the exception that apparently my daughter did not learn her lesson about chain mail and passing them on and that no one really wants them.  Apparently she passed one on to my sister that said "if you don't pass this on within so many days to so many people you will see a dead little girl in your dreams"...she passed this on to my sister, who just had a baby.....a daughter....I wanted to bonk her in the head and say "remember how scared you were???".  We did talk about it and I think she understands now...I think....I'm not sure.  I did tell her if she got anymore like that she needed to let me know who was sending them so I could have a talk with them.  She is a kid after all and if it turns out to be one of her 10 year old friends I will be having a talk with their parents....does anyone watch out and monitor what their kids are doing besides me?  I mean granted I make mistakes but everyone does but I do my best to keep my kids safe.  Jeez! 

Basketball FINALLY started up again thank goodness.  We had practice an games last week...practices went well and wore the kiddies out and they slept good.  Games did not go so well.....both kids lost and my son fouled out trying to foul a kid that kept knocking him down.  Totally backfired.  I felt bad for him but still he did his best and like school work that is all I can ask for.  Speaking of school work report cards came in and both did well.  Some grades dropped for my daughter which concerns me a bit because she has always been and A student and on the A Honor Roll...this semester she is on the AB Honor Roll.  She is pretty upset but her math classes are getting more difficult and so are her tests.  We are gonna work on some things to strengthen her skills and see where that goes.  I always tell them that it is the last report card that really counts.  Grades can change throughout the year due to things that go on in your life and how difficult the subjects are you are learning about so we shall see where the end of the year leaves us.

We Are Still Here.....

My daughter is still here.....still alive and kicking.....was there ever a doubt?   Truthfully she had me totally flipping out to the point where we were up till 12:30 and I wouldn't let her go to sleep..just in case.  Besides if something was coming to get her I wanted to make certain it didn't mistake me for her....but all is well on the homefront and I seriously do not believe she will do anything like that again.  She said she came across this thing on her own but if I find out someone sent it to her BEWARE of the wrath of the mother who stayed up til 1230 to make certain her daughter wasn't killed by a girl in a picture on the internet.  This is why we, as parents, must monitor what our children our looking at on the internet.  Speaking of....I have said before that my daughter has a FB page so do a lot of her friends and I monitor.  I look at her site all the time and see whats on there and who she is talking to.  I didn't take much notice to her friends list but I've noticed that a lot of her friends are people my sister worked with when she was in the restaurant biz.  "Oh look...her daughter has friended me on FB.  I'll accept and even though she is only 10 I'll use the F-word, and bad mouth my parents, gossip about my other friends and talk about sex with my boyfriends and others of the same sex".  Now I have no problem with this at all BUT I think its a real issue that she is looking at this stuff and is privvy to some of these posts made by 18+ year olds.  I didn't think that through very well.  Sooooo now I play the "bad mom".  I sit her down and talk to her about what is appropriate forgetting too that she is only 10 and she had a fit.  I even gave her a choice......delete the adults, be friends with people your age and with family (she keeps in touch with "The Ass" and his family through FB) OR give up the FB page.  FLIPPED OUT.....it was ridiculous but I guess I only have my genes to blame and I do often forget how old she is because she really is mature for 10 but she is just a kid.  Today my sister informed me that she could stay friends with her whole list and I could just block posts except if someone posted on her wall.  Now this seemed acceptable.  I thought about it, we talked and decided that is what we would do and then I would send out a broadcast email reminder to her "grown-up" friends that she is only 10 and that if they want to talk to her they should post on her wall and she can reply.  I told her she cannot go to anyone elses wall with the exception of friends her age and family and if I find out (and I will) that she has disobeyed then FB goes away until she is a teenager.

On to the boy, my son, the light of my life, the plaque in my arteries and the gray in my hair.  Ah me...I love the kid but I truly believe he will be the death of me...maybe by accident....maybe in my sleep....who knows what the future holds.  He is impossible to talk to....he is not an ass but he is "The Ass'" son and he definitely has "ass-like" qualities.  Now I know this is bad to say of your 9 year old but I'm telling you, when I was married and "The Ass" would get mad and yell or lecture his gestures and words were very specific....its like watching a re-run but of him as a child.....and like his dad he will talk and carry on even if he knows you are not interested in what he is saying or if he knows you are not listening.  He just as to get it out.  EXAMPLE:  when I was married there was an argument about what we were going to watch on TV...a very valid argument for two people to live together an share everying to argue about.  For about 3 days straight the TV had been on sports and I am not kidding.  It started Friday with a baseball game, then Saturday here was billiards, golf (all day golf), more baseball and poker, and Sunday, of course, football.  Back then I wasn't much of a fan but I understand how men are about football so I watched and learned and found out I actually liked it.  By Monday though I'd had enough.....I turned on Charmed, a show I like that was on for an hour.  When he asked what I was doing I told him what I was doing....getting ready to watch Charmed....but the Series is on....so go down the street for an hour or wait til its over I said (probably nastier than I meant to) and suddenly the remote flew past my head and put a hole in the wall.....what are we 5?  He started lecturing me on how "sharing" things went and that I needed to learn how to compromise and about that time I tuned him out and began watching my show.  I think about 30 minutes into the lecture I think he realized I really wasn't listening so he left.  About 10 seconds after he left I breathed a sigh a relief and my phone rang....guesses?  Anyone?   Yep "The Ass" and he began carrying on again so I, being the good wife and knowing he needed to "get it out", laid the phone down, put a pillow over it so I couldn't hear him and let him vent away.  I finished my show.   Now back to my son....he does the same thing...only he is usually talking about football or basketball or some other sport I don't care to watch or know about.  He will not only tell you about plays but if you aren't listening and he sees that, he will get in front of you and act out the play just to make sure you got it, sometimes there is a quiz after, sometimes before, sometimes the plays last for minutes and can be told over and over.  Children are so much fun...he knows it drives me nuts and I think that is why he does it.  I love him dearly but "dink" "dink" "dink" he can push the buttons and make me a raving lunatic (according to "The Ass" that doesn't take much).  Anyway my son and I are starting therapy again next week.  Sadly we get in and then when things are good we quit and it just can't be like that.  He (my son) and I need help communicating with each other.  There is so much anger there but so much love and it so confusing for both of us.

Ahhhhhhh life such a roller coaster ride but so worth it when its all over.

.....Thank Goodness Monday is Almost Over......

So here we are, Monday 10:00pm and my daughter is caffeined up and nowhere near sleep.  She is terrified something bad is going to happen to her and now she has me totally freaked out......FREAKED OUT!!!!   She chewed off her nails, been feeling sick to her stomach and keeps asking me if she can stay up past midnight.  This is awful.....who puts this stuff out there for people to see and scare the hell out of themselves?  Well midnight won't come soon enough and then we can put all this behind us.  I told her tonight that I was going to take all her "adult" friends off her FB account....adult meaning friends of my sister's and mine that thought she was so cute and when I made her FB page for her accepted her friend request.  Of course I read her FB and she should so not be friends with older people because we post stuff that is not kid friendly.  So I talked to her and she flipped out....so I gave her a choice.....we could go with my plan where she keeps her dad and his family in order to keep in touch with them and she keeps her friends that are her age OR she loses the page all together.  She didn't like either solution but she will make the right choice I'm certain of it and if she doesn't well I guess I will deal with that when I absolutely have to.

My son is going through I don't know what but I am totally looking forward to getting back into therapy with him.  It seems all we have been doing is yelling and screaming at each other and man oh man is that getting old.  Not to mention the fact that in the past 2 days he has called me his slave and his serving wench (which I'm sure he got from "The Ass").  What kid calls there mom his serving wench how would he even know what that means....unless they used it on Pirates of the Carribean.....hmmmm....guess I'll have to rewatch that movie.  His mouth has really left something to be desired the past couple of weeks...not sure if its just from boredom or if its time for a medication increase but I will be making that appointment soon.  Wintertime is just awful for him, he gets so bored being inside and some days its just to cold to be outside and he roughhouses inside and something always gets broken.  I feel for him but thankfully basketball practice and games start up again this week so that will relieve some of his pent up energy.  THANK YOU LORD!!!!

So now I'm going to go watch a movie with my babies until midnight to help my daughter not worry about something bad happening to her tonight, tomorrow or any other day because of something she saw on the internet.  Happy Monday All!